Oregon Vaughns

Stacey:  Oh, it is pet day at the aquatic center.

Andy:  So that’s where all the dogs are…

“When I am sleepy and people need me, I just want to eat a lot of sweets.”

“I married a celebrity who makes no money.”

“Would you ever call a guy a brunette?”

“A five-foot pepperoni?!?  That’s taller than my sister!”

“I am an emotional wreck.”

“The less I work, the more I make per hour.”

Stacey (to Andy):  What would you be willing to trade for me?

Andy:  Like, what would I be willing to trade if I didn’t already have you in my possession?

Stacey:  No, like if you wanted to get rid of me.

Andy:  Oh, probably my Ibis or my Magic Card collection.

Stacey:  What?  You wouldn’t have to give someone something to take me as well!  I meant what you would want in return.

Andy:  Oh!

(Uncontrollable laughter from both parties)

“What can I say? I am going to die drowning in estrogen.”

“I wish I could sue you.”